shechemist

No matter what is going on in my life, when The Mango comes out of bed at 1 in the morning, I say a small prayer of thanks. cuz of shit like this: http://www.nwitimes.com/news/local/lake/gary/article_b0ddd7ad-10ea-5b8e-b66a-db5a522e7ee8.html

in the news. I generally don't believe in the death penalty, but this is a case I don't know how else justice can be served. I wish I knew of a means to throw some cash to the sister in this horrid case, cuz if I could, I would pick up some extra shifts just to see that she got the support and therapy she needed.

and if the step mom claims domestic abuse..... I would execute her my fucking self, only because the line for the dad would be too long to stand in.

really

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeZlih4DDNg

1. I haven't applied to the county job yet. I have a huge ass community assessment project due in 2 weeks and I have been busy with that and....

2. We are looking into schools for The Mango. Last year we had her tested for CPS selective enrollment schools. without going into the details (because they are long and boring) she tested fantastically well (like really well) on 2 of the 3 'tests' (so well I question the validity of the 3rd score). But for some reason, which I can't even contest till April 18th, she was not assigned a school. So we are looking at catholic schools. and that takes time and effort and brain space (oh god the mind-fucking,).

3. and in the middle of all this I had a paper and test. which today I found out I got an A on both.. go team me.

4. Therapy has been going so well I think my therapist is going to fire me. We are starting to go to an every other week schedule and see what shakes out. I feel like a dope. Like I am wasting someone else's time. But really, when I started this process, I was desperate, rage filled, and really sucky to be around. MC thinks 'things' have been better, the kids (Mango cuz she is the most verbal has commented and Elwood has stopped being a complete tool at bedtime) have responded well, and I no longer want to crush kill or destroy my director.

5. speaking of my director. work laid off 30ish people and then hired some more directors. cuz what the remaining indians really needed were more chiefs. And my director started leaving really fucking whiny voice messages that he needs me to give him my schedule 3 weeks before the schedule comes out. jesus fuck.


6. since The Papaya was born I have lost 42 pounds. I am so close to my pre-3-child weight! I want to lose an additional 13 pounds. but HEY I am 3 pounds away from my PRE 1st PREGNANCY WEIGHT! GO mother fucking TEAM ME!

7. to wean or not to wean. I am still breastfeeding, but my body has always sucked at pumping. between work, school, my desperate need for sleep, and sometimes I just wanna drink whiskey from a barrel, we give The Papaya formula (sometimes we even have her mix it herself). so my 'supply' drops and it starts a cycle of more bottles and less tit. I have a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. yes it is better for the baby. holy cats does it suck for me. at the same time, every time I stopped breastfeeding I cried. and cried. and cried. and Papaya is going to be my last baby.

HUm

There is an ER position at the county hospital open.

I'm applying tomorrow or tonight after my exam. I'm also applying for a Community Health gig too. The worst that happens is I get an interview.

Holy crap. Papaya is starting to sleep for 6 to 8 hour stretches. Not every night, but enough nights in the past two weeks that I have finally, finally gotten 4 nights of 8. Solid. Hours. of. Sleep. She is 6.5 months old. I might live after all. The only down side to this is how much my chest hurts after not nursing for 8 hours. ouch ouch ouch


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In Oct. we had The Mango tested by the Chicago Public School system to see if we could get her into the selective enrollment schools. We got the results this week. It was a mixed bag and I am confused and annoyed by the CPS.

Mind you, they are testing 4 year olds.

They test for 2 'different' class of schools: Gifted Regional Centers and Classical schools. To get into the Classical school you need to score 80% or better in 'math' and 'reading'. I really wanted her to get into the local classical school. She scored 90% in math. YAY! but 65% in reading. WTF? Ok. Fine. Whatever.

For the Gifted Regional centers, she scored 120. To be accepted into the gift regional program, you have to score above 115.

YAY go team Mango. Right?

NO. She wasn't placed in a Gifted Regional School. What I did get was her waitlist number for 3 magnet schools, and the magnet schools are a random lottery, completely separate from the selective enrollment.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. What?


ANNNNNND CPS won't even entertain questions about enrollment results until April 18th, one month after they sent out the results.

So we are visiting my parish school and the parish school that is up the street and figuring out where to send her.

____________________________________


I finished a paper I hated writing. Hated. But it is done, I hope I did well enough. The next paper is a community health assessment I am doing that involves sex workers in a specific neighborhood of Chicago (uptown is my pick). A requirement of the paper is to interview at least 2 people that have something to do in the community about health care needs. Well al-righty.

I sent out requests to the Alderman's office, Young Women's Empowerment Project (a sex worker advocacy and harm reduction org), a place that runs a free clinic in the 'hood of interest, and Sex Worker's Outreach Project-Chicago. The sex worker Organizations all got back to me and kindly agreed to give me an hour of time. The alderman's office pawned me off to another organization. I am waiting to hear back from the clinic. I have one more Org to contact. But basically I have worked out the hardest part of the assignment and I feel pretty good.

Today is The Mango's last day of swimming class as a pike. Next week she (finally) advances to eel status.


BIL is here for a visit. I haven't run in a week due to an awful cold and a paper due next week. I'm trying to be upbeat but I really just want to nap for a few days. Hopefully a walk in the sunshine and a lunch with Mango and Papaya shakes some of cranky out of me.

I now have a 5 year old.


Seriously

I have been too busy to take photos. Yesterday I worked. Last night we had a wee little party. The Mango's best friend, his 2.5 year old twin brothers, his parents, my old bestest boss in the world, and her son all came over for playdoh, trains, pizza, beer, and cake.

It was AWESOME!

1. The kids and I drove to New Mexico. It didn't suck as much as it could have. My phone was acting flaky, but it made the trip. The first night our DVD player died. After the DVD player stopped working, I thought our horse would throw a shoe, or the kids would get yellow fever.

2. The first thing FIL said to me when he saw me was that he loved me. I knew he was going to die soon.

3. My RatBastardFather drove down and spent a day with us. We had lunch, went to a play lot, had ice cream, and then just hung out in the lobby of our hotel while MC spent time with his father, or napped with Elwood. I gave him his birthday gifts late which included some wallet photos that he had asked for, and Mango gave him a drawing. It was....comforting, for me at least.

4. My brother also drove own to visit us. At first I was being a bitch about it. He had called my cellphone 11 times in a 45 min period. A 45 min period I was trying to get the kids to nap, and didn't want to completely shut off my phone in case MC or the Hospital called. I was non-rationally pissed at my brother and was set to shut him down. I had a mini-epiphany, realizing he was just trying to get a hold of me, that I had done similar shit when I was drinking heavily. Anyway, he came down and we had a nice lunch. He brought his laptop, and using his netflix with the motel's wireless, sat on the couch with Mango watching Invader Zim.

It was fantastically sweet and I was glad I pulled my head out of my ass.

5. MC's dad died. He had been placed under hospice care. They were better able to control his ever encroaching anxiety due to his iinability to get enough oxygen. The down side is that once he went under hospice care, he stopped talking. Not that he was making a huge amount of sense, but the medication required to make him comfortable, was enough to heavily snow him. At least it took the fear and panic away.

5a. It was hard for me to spend time with FIL and juggle 3 kids. My RBF actually watched Mango in the hospital lobby so I could spend a little time with him one day. The night before hospice started, Papaya and I spent an hour with him while MC wrangled the others. I sat next to him and held his hand with one hand, and held a nursing Papaya with the other. It was the first time I cried for him.

6. I'm changing my dad's nym to LastGrandPaStanding. He has earned it. He also drove down for FIL's visitation. He is still socially inappropriate (talking about peeing in a bottle when driving long distances with a complete stranger to him at the visitation for example), but fuck if he isn't giving it his all.

7. MC's dad had a military burial, complete with a 21 gun salute and Taps. I wept.

8 On the drive out of the cemetery, The Mango asked if we were going to die. Then if she was going to die. And then screamed for the next 20 mins that she didn't want to die. Screamed. It was awful. I got her calmed down enough to eat lunch. The next few nights were awful. Lots of sleep disturbances and her trying to find immortality.

FIL dying.

MC flew yesterday to NM.

Today I drive with all the kids to NM. It is going to take two days with a stopover in Tulsa OK.

God help me.